The Billy Awards: 2009 Year End Superlatives - Music

Greetings, readers. We've been gone for a while, but when we awoke from our long winter's nap, we heard your anguished cries for more, and now here we are, back from the void to grace your screens and minds with our wisdom and insights. And now, we start off 2010 by looking back at the best (and worst) of 2009 with the Billy Awards for Music:

Best Music Video

Weezer - (If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To

2009 wasn't the greatest year for music videos (in fact, it was pretty crappy), but this video is far and away better than all the rest I've seen in the past year. Weezer usually puts out clever music videos, and this one is a good example of their flair for originality. The town populated solely by members of the band is interesting, and the children with adult heads are amusing. What makes this video particularly good, however, aside from the band's signature brand of infectiously catchy pop rock, is the sequence that plays over the final chorus, wherein Rivers Cuomo, in a play on the words of the song, tells the girl to take all her wily charms and get lost after seeing what she's done to his buddies.

This video was directed by Marc Webb (who I consider to be the best in the business, having directed several music videos in my Top 10) and features Odette Yustman, who you may remember from her younger days in Kindergarten Cop, or, more recently, as the main character's love interest in Cloverfield.

Honorable Mention:

Taylor Swift - You Belong With Me

Best Song Lyric

I'll always be just who you want me to be
And keep my tongue in my cheek
A hopeless romantic, you'll never see
Cuz you're not in on the joke

-Cobra Starship - You're Not In on the Joke

This category was a little tougher, because there were many good lyrics to choose from ("21 Guns" by Green Day, "Beautiful" by Eminem, even "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus, just to name a few). This line, however, from a song you most likely haven't heard (it's not and likely won't be a single), resonates with me for the light in which it portrays the way we present ourselves, particularly with regards to romantic relationships. It suggests (rightly so) that we harbor personalities deeper than the ones we present to the world at large, and this particular line is rife with disdain for the games we have to play in order to be successful in our romantic pursuits. The title of the song belies a more serious tone and subject matter, which is in a way representative of the message of the song - we sometimes hide who we really are, not necessarily because it's bad, but because it may not be exactly what you're accustomed to seeing.

Worst Song Lyric

Now super bad chicks givin' me McLovin
You would think I ran the world like Michelle's husband

-Kanye West (as featured in "Forever" by Drake)

This wasn't nearly as hard. You've got an overall good song bookended by good performances by Drake and Eminem, a not-great-but-not-bad third verse from Lil Wayne, and... Kanye West, in typical fashion, babbling like a moron. Listening to the rest of the song, you wonder how this imbecile wandered into this group of reasonably talented rappers. His entire crude verse is mundane rhymery at best, and the Superbad pun is pitiful, but then he follows it up with the piece de resistance. Michelle's husband... what was that guy's name again? Frick, I can't remember. I know he's married to Michelle though, so that's a pretty noteworthy accomplishment, I guess. Way to go, Kanye, now I know why Entertainment Weekly named you Artist of the Decade.

Best Song You Haven't Heard

Manic Bloom - Running From The Scene

Okay, so maybe you have heard it. Maybe you, like me, discovered this incredible song after watching the first Dude Perfect video, and considering how big that video got, that wouldn't surprise me at all. Still, this song didn't get any radio play (that I know of), so I'm willing to bet the vast majority of the public hasn't heard it. The chord progression (particularly in the chorus) is matched beautifully with the vocals, the steady driving beat and main riff give it a good edge without venturing too far into hard rock territory, and the lyrics are potently desperate yet ambiguous enough to be relatable to virtually anyone. If you haven't heard it yet, I think the best way to experience the song for the first time is with the very video I mentioned earlier:




Honorable Mention:
Honor Society - Where Are You Now

Best Cover

Seether - Careless Whisper

In a nutshell: Wham! gave the world this unremarkable song, and Seether turned it awesome. After the wailing guitar hook (which was, in the original, an elevator muzak style saxophone solo) sucks you in, the raw, pained emotion of Shaun Morgan's voice carries this track through to the finish. This heavy song now has an appropriate tone, and this is a darker, grittier update which, rather than marring it, actually improves upon the original.



Honorable Mentions:
My Chemical Romance - Desolation Row
Selena Gomez - Magic

Best Song That Doesn't Get As Much Play As It Should

The Black Eyed Peas - Meet Me Halfway

This boggles my mind. The comparatively melodic "Meet Me Halfway" is easily the BEP's best song ever, yet it doesn't get anywhere near as much radio play as nonsense like "Boom Boom Pow." Sure, the main riff is a Cyndi Lauper rip-off, but it fits the song beautifully, and Fergie's Madonna-inspired vocals are the best she's ever given us. Throw in some lyrics that are actually meaningful for a change (despite Will.I.Am's insistence on repeating words and syllables to fill up beats) and you've got a recipe for a rare gem from this group. Apparently, though, the only thing radio stations deem worthy of playing by the Black Eyed Peas are thumping bass beatfests featuring laughably ludicrous words. Or maybe that's just what America wants to hear. Either way, we don't hear nearly enough of this song.

Best Featured Performance

Eminem in "Forever" by Drake

Did I say earlier that Eminem's performance in this song was good? I'm sorry, what I should have said was "mind-blowingly amazing." Even as a standalone rap sample, it's quite good, but the fact that it's laid down alongside three other rappers really puts it in perspective. The first three verses are good enough (barring Kanye's insipid sexual allusions and horrible choice of similes), but then Eminem not only impressively amps up the speed of his flow, but also drops a lyrical bomb and blows away everything that's already been done. And the best part - he acknowledges that he's doing just that that within the first few lines. Eminem makes Drake, Kanye, and Lil Wayne look like third graders struggling to plod their way through their first poem; they saved the best for last, and the result is nothing short of epic.

Honorable Mentions:
Ludacris in "How Do You Sleep" by Jesse McCartney
Kanye West (ironically) in "Knock You Down" by Keri Hilson

Best Female Vocalist

Demi Lovato

What can I say; she's got some pipes. She can lay down something soft and pretty, and then turn right around and belt out something loud and forceful. If you don't believe me, have a listen to "Don't Forget," the title track off her debut album:





Honorable Mentions:
Lady Gaga
Miley Cyrus

Best Male Vocalist

Brent Smith of Shinedown

Brent Smith does a very good job singing on "Second Chance," and "The Sound of Madness" isn't a bad demonstration of his vocal talents either, but it's his performance on "If You Only Knew" that really stands out. A good demonstration of his range and power (and a great song to boot), this song solidifies his position as Best Male Vocalist:

Honorable Mentions:

Matthew Bellamy of Muse

Shaun Morgan of Seether


And that's all for now, folks. Part two (featuring Artist of the Year, Worst Song, and the Top 3 Songs of the Year) will be posted soon.

-Billy

The First Annual "Latin" Awards

Best Music Video

This category came down to three choices. Billy picked the excellent "If You're Wondering if I Want You To (I want you to)" by Weezer. Also considered was Eminem's "Beautiful", his tribute to his fallen hometown of Detroit. Ultimately, I decided to go with "21 Guns" by Green Day. "21 Guns" is another Marc Webb creation which displays an excellent song along with an artistic and intense video. Overall a very solid video.

Best Lyric

From "Resistance" by Muse

The title track from Muse's newest CD is arguably their best on the CD, their traditional sound stays intact while expressing a slightly more upbeat sound than the preceding track "Uprising". Also, the lyrics continue to tell the CD's story of oppression and revolution, in a very intense way.


"If we live a life in fear
I'll wait a thousand years
Just to see you smile again

Kill your prayers for love and peace
You'll wake the thought police
We can't hide the truth inside"

Worst Lyric

There were many questionable decisions in Music in 2009. Many songs left people scratching their heads and wondering how fireflies can give hugs. However, perhaps the stupidest decision of the year was Mariah Carey's idea to go after Eminem in her song "Obsessed". Not only is the song a muscial low point for Mariah, reinforcing the crazy diva image that has hurt her in the past, but it also opened her up to a firestorm from Eminem, that resulted in the brutal diss track "The Warning". Mariah decided the best way to get at Eminem was with this lyric.

"You're delusional, you're delusional
Boy you're losing your mind
It's confusing yo, you're confused you know
Why you wasting your time
Got you all fired up with y our napoleon complex
Seeing right through you like you're bathing in Windex"

Apparently, bathing in Windex makes a person invisible. The guess here is that it would also sting like a bee's bottom.

For his part, Eminem's track is largely unprintable, albeit ridiculously good, rap. One line that is surprisingly quotable, and also intriguingly prophetical is this.

"Like I’ve been goin off on you all this time for no reason.
Girl you out ya alcholic mind.
Check ya wine cellar.
Look at the amounts of all the wine."

Sometimes the truth hurts Mariah.

Best Song Nobody Has Heard

Well, honestly, it's tough to beat Bill's nomination of Manic Bloom, and if it came down to it, I would probably have to go with that one myself. However, Breaking Benjamin's "Dear Agony" is an excellent song which received 1/10th of the fanfare that "I Will Not Bow" received.

Song That Deserved More Play

K'naan- "Waving Flag"

It hit 99 on the Billboard, but that was it. It's doubtful you heard it much on the radio, which is a shame cause it's quite a good song.

Best Cover Song

While Bill went a little ways back to pick his best cover song of the year, which admittedly was the excellent cover of "Careless Whisper" by Seether, we are going to stay much more recent for our discussion of the year's best cover.

Two different covers were in consideration for this spot. The first was Hayley Williams and Paramore covering "Use Somebody" by the Kings of Leon. I personally enjoy Hayley's cover more than the original, but that's a debate for a different day.

Ultimately, I decided to go with The Fray's cover of "Heartless" by Kanye West. "Heartless" is in my opinion one of Kanye's best songs in a while, and the Fray deliver an excellent version which is far superior to the auto-tuned version of the original. Excellent version.

Best Featured Performance in a Song

Well, 2009 sure seemed like a year for featured performances. They pervaded rap as they usually do, but also spread more than ever to the pop rock genres and further.

In terms of straight up skill, Eminem's featured stanza on Drake's "Forever" is possibly one of the most impressive stanzas of rap ever written. He moves ridiculously fast. By the time he is done, he has single handedly stolen the spotlight from the biggest names in rap, and reasserted himself as the king of true rap. It's truly something to see. I'm not crazy about the song, but Em's part is darn impressive.

On a more fun-minded note, the combo of Cobra Starship and Leighton Meester gives a very fun performance in "Good Girls go Bad".

Best Female Vocalist of 2009

Not the best artist, we'll get there in a second, this one goes out to the best pure vocal talent of 2009.

The girls have really brought out the heavy hitters vocally recently. Carrie Underwood continues to flash her pipes on the pop-country circuit. Kelly Clarkson usually shows off a song or two that reveals her vocal range. Hayley Williams has a surprisingly powerful voice which hits some the raspier powerful ranges that few really hit. Even Pink's grunge voice displays strength in certain songs. Katy Perry is another wild card in a group of good singers.

Bill's picks were Demi Lovato and Lady Gaga, neither really do it for me. I'll give you my top 3.

3. Katy Perry- Good voice, not great.

2. Hayley Williams- Has some real power, less traditional voice may hurt her with the mainstream pop crowd.

1. Kelly Clarkson



Clarkson has the happy medium of a strong voice and a good feel for pop music. Almost every song she releases will keep your radio dial on the same station, and at the same time she has the vocal chops to back it up. "My life would suck without you" shows her fun side to music, at the same time "Already Gone" shows off her range, its a pretty nice combination.

Best Male Vocalist

Not quite as strong as the girls, but not devoid of some powerhouses either.

John Mayer's "Battle Studies" was a slightly disappointing follow up to "Where the Light is", but he still found a few songs on the album. Notably, "Perfectly Lonely", "Heartbreak Warfare", "Assassin" are excellent.



I also find Chad Wolf to be an underrated vocalist as the lead singer of Carolina Liar, but he couldn't quite finagle his way onto the top spot.

For the second time today, I'm going to agree with Bill. Brent Smith displays a powerful vocal range and has been a favorite of mine since Shinedown released "45" a few years back. "Sound of Madness" is a raucous track which beckons back to "45", where as "Second Chance" and "If You Only Knew" display a slightly softer side, great performances all.

Saturday Morning Special: The Worst Christmas Song of All Time

I'm sure you're familiar with the glory that is Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You," my own personal favorite Christmas tune. If you're not, or if you want to have a listen right this very moment, then by all means do so:





Everything about the song is beautiful. The melody, the vocals, the tempo, the instrumentals; surely it's the greatest Christmas song of this generation. You can imagine my shock and dismay, then, when I heard it brutally murdered, and then my horror as I listened while the twisted, mangled corpse of the song was reanimated as if by some kind of dark ritual, courtesy of Cymphonique:





Good God. Where do I even begin?

Here's a tip for all you aspiring cover artists out there: it's okay to change one or two words of a song you're covering if it's contextually appropriate (for example, if the song was originally performed from the perspective of a girl and your all-male band is doing a cover, you may need to swap out a few pronouns - that's all well and good). I missed the very beginning of the song, but I heard enough of the beginning to catch "I just want you for myself," and I immediately thought "uh oh, where is this going," unaware that by switching on that radio station, I had just strapped myself in for a lyrical train wreck. Remember, I said it's okay to change a word or two, NOT THE ENTIRE SONG. I suppose that's really the only flaw, but it's a flaw so atrociously overbearing that it consumes the entire experience.

I can see her discussing the possibility of her own version of the song with her producer:
"So, Cymphonique, you want to do a cover of All I Want For Christmas Is You, but you want to do more than just rehash the same old version we've heard a million times. Okay, I have some suggestions. Let's try and make this one your own, you know, really give it something that says 'Cymphonique did this.' Instead of giving it your own musically stylistic flair (everyone does that), let's just hijack the tune and rewrite the words. Do you know what a rhyme scheme is? Good, we won't need one of those. Oh and make sure you mention cell phones at some point, all the kids have them these days. That'll make you sound hip and cool and will definitely appeal to your 12-year-old target audience."

In certain parts of the song, her dazzling lyrical genius shines through. For example, she brilliantly adapts the lyrics to suit her own style by replacing phrases like "all I want for Christmas" with "all I need this Christmas" and "I won't even wish for snow" with "I won't even ask for snow." In light of these stunningly clever bits of wordplay, I'm sure Mariah would approve, although she'd probably like to know who told Cymphonique that "special" rhymes with "you."

Another thing that perturbs me is the basis for the song. It's all well and good when you're talking about what you want for Christmas, but when you start discussing the things you need, well, you've struck a nerve with me. Gifts are GIVEN, not deserved or needed. With the concept of need comes the concept of entitlement, and I'm sorry, but you are not entitled to a single Christmas present. But that's a different rant for a different time.

The real travesty is, as I've reiterated, the alteration of the lyrical content. If you want to give your own spin to a song, then you do so with the music itself or the way the song is played, not by changing the words entirely. You don't disgrace and destroy the beauty of the original like that... it's like pooping on the Mona Lisa and then saying "There, I made it my own." This god-awful piece of garbage is, easily, the worst Christmas song I have ever heard in my entire life.


-Billy


P.S. - As a special Christmas bonus, I'm going to include a version of an old Christmas classic that shows how to properly cover a song. Enjoy.

Tuesday's Tesosterone Alley: War Movies

Seeing as yesterday was the anniversary of Pearl Harbor, and today is Testosterone Tuesday, I considered it fitting to roll out my selections of the best war movies of all time.

War movies have always been a guy thing, girls may never fully understand. They only see the movie on a cinematical level. They see blood and guts, and hear coarse language and they leave the room. Men have always seen war movies differently. It's not about whats directly on the screen, the blood or the language. It's about the responsibility that a man has to do what's right, and to act bravely in the face of the harshest circumstances. These movies embody the best the war genre has to offer.

Before we begin, let me clarify what I consider a war movie. Braveheart and Gladiator are not war movies, and as such are not included in this list. A war movie focuses primarily on the historical events leading up to a factual battle or campaign that has been fought, with the primary focus being on the tactics and warfare engaged in during the battle.


With all that said, the list:


10. Black Hawk Down

The reason I included Black Hawk Down, is because it gives us probably the best look at what modern warfare has become. I have yet to see some of this year's war movies such as the excellently reviewed "The Hurt Locker". But Black Hawk Down shows us how the rules have changed, and how the arms proliferation across the globe has made combatants out of nearly anyone. I will say, for as superb as BHD is as a film, the original book written by Mark Bowden is superior in nearly every way, for those of you who enjoy reading, specifically reading about the military, Black Hawk Down by Bowden is one of the best reads you will ever have.


9. Glory

My dad and I typically have similar tastes when it comes to war movies. He has always been a history buff, and enjoys his collection of military novels and films. However, he doesn't go for Glory like I do. He finds it excessively depressing and gruesome, whereas I find the performances by Freeman and Washington to be some of the best ever given on the screen. At times Matthew Broderick seems unable to match the brilliance of Freeman and Denzel, but the movie still remains one of the most powerful and touching war films ever.

8. Patton

Someday I will give you my list of top acting performances ever given in a film. A list that includes the obvious (such as Peter O'Toole as Lawrence of Arabia) and the not so obvious (Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday in "Tombstone"), but there is only one performance that ever gets consideration for the top spot in my own personal list, and that is George C. Scott as General George Patton. This movie is not for the casual movie watcher. It is a historical biopic of one of the most enigmatic and brilliant generals of all time. For those that enjoy studying World War II, and especially for those who are interested in Patton, this movie remains one of the favorites of my collection.

7. Gettysburg

Two spots higher than its Civil War counterpart "Glory", Gettysburg is a fascinating look at one of the most crucial battles in American history. Excellent performances all around, but Jeff Daniels as Col. Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain gives a performance that you never could have expected from the "Dumb and Dumber" actor. Also, this film features "Battle Royale" favorite Sam Elliott as Gen. John Buford.




6. The Bridge on the River Kwai

Featuring the superb Alec Guinness a full 20 years before he became Ben Kenobi, Bridge on the River Kwai is low on action, but examines the mental fortitude of POW's in a Japanese labor camp. Excellent plot, excellent movie.

5. We Were Soldiers

Disdain for the Vietnam war can be felt even to this day. John Wayne's "The Green Berets" was widely panned for its "childish" and positive view of the war. Meanwhile, ultra-depressing Vietnam movies have raked in the dollars and awards. Full Metal Jacket, Platoon, Apocalypse Now, The Deer Hunter, heck, even First Blood (Rambo 1) is about a depressed Vietnam vet. Somewhere in between Wayne's admittedly amateurish offering, and the super depressing list I just mentioned. Is "We Were Soldiers", featuring a very strong performance by Mel Gibson, "Soldiers" is powerful without being depressing. It also features Sam Elliott as Gibson's right hand man, but the show is stolen by another "Battle Royale" favorite, Barry Pepper, as a photographer caught in the action.

4. The Longest Day

The Cast reads like a Hall of Fame list. Wayne, Fonda, Connery, Burton, Mitchum, Wagner, and even Red Button and Rod Steiger show up in this one. A great black and white look at the invasion of Normandy and the events that led up to it. For those of you who love war movies, this is one of the best.

3. The Dirty Dozen

Most of the list so far has been fairly serious and somber, but believe it or not, there are a few war movies out there that double as comedies. The Dirty Dozen sports another one of the best casts ever assembled. Lee Marvin, Charles Bronson, Telly Savalas, Donald Sutherland, Jim Brown, and Ernest Borgnine. The movie wonderfully meshes humor with the reality of war when 12 felons get a chance at redemption at the German's expense.

2. The Great Escape

The great thing about war movies, is that they allow for a multitude of actors to come together. The Great Escape boasts, in my opinion, perhaps the greatest cast of actors ever in one movie. Steve McQueen gets top billing, and is the best thing about the film, but James Garner is likewise excellent, as is Bronson again, James Coburn, Richard Attenborough (Better known for creating Jurassic Park and being Santa Clause), and Donald Pleasence, as well as a superb German and British supporting cast. "The Great Escape" tells the story of the biggest POW escape in World War II, and while it doesn't feature a battle or gunfighting, it is a riveting story which will entertain you thoroughly.

1. Saving Private Ryan

Some will disagree with this choice, however, "Ryan" is one of the most powerful and outstanding movies about World War II and the generation which fought in it. Spielberg's direction is impeccable, much as it was in his previous film about the era "Schindler's List". Tom Hanks is at his brilliant best, he hits a level that very few actors even possess, much less hit as regularly as Hanks seems to. Likewise, the supporting cast is brilliant. Damon is good as Private Ryan, but his screen time is limited. The rest of the cast was not known for their outstanding dramatic performances, but nonetheless deliver some of their best work. Vin Diesel is excellent in a supporting role, Tome Sizemore and Ed Burns are likewise outstanding in their roles, and once again, Barry Pepper steals every scene he is in, even from the outstanding Hanks. Saving Private Ryan is different from the movies directly above. I can watch Dirty Dozen or Great Escape time after time. Saving Private Ryan is different, you have to absorb it, its not for pleasure, its about the call of duty, and the men who answered.




That's my list, feel free to share your comments.

-Latin

A Monday/Tuesday Combo: Snakes on a Blog

Howdy folks. You may have noticed (but you probably didn't) that I did not post anything Monday morning. I decided to take the night off last night, a "personal day," you might call it. Or you might call it "I decided I'd rather watch Camp Rock than waste my time writing about something I'm not really interested in so a bunch of people who don't really care one way or another can have something to read tomorrow morning." Yeah, I think that has a nice ring to it.

Anyway, I'm back to plague your browsers with another round of my insights. Today, we'll be dealing with music videos; more specifically, awesome music videos that you need to see right now. For the record, this is not a list detailing the best music videos ever made (I'll save that for a Top 10 feature sometime). For one reason or another, most of these videos won't even land on my Top 10, but that doesn't diminish their awesomeness, and since they are awesome, you need to watch them immediately.

The first video is "Snakes on a Plane (Bring It)" by Cobra Starship:

Cobra Starship - New Music - More Music Videos

Note: I had to use the MTV.com version because the edited one is not on Youtube anywhere, and I can't, on behalf of this blog, condone the use of F-bombs, even if there is only one at the very beginning of the song. Sorry about the commercial.

While the video itself is not entirely amazing, the song, which was the theme song of the movie of the same name and played over the end credits, is epic and catchy as all get out. The video is worth watching just to hear the song, and it's cool enough in its own right (regardless of how you feel about the movie, the music video's tie-ins are nifty). This is the perfect song to listen to while you're, say, trying to drop your brother off at work in a hurry because you're late for work yourself. Trust me.

When I first heard of Cobra Starship, I thought they were a novelty super group that wasn't ever going to put out any real material other than this single to promote the already notorious movie Snakes on a Plane. Because this video features so many people from other bands (William Beckett from The Academy Is..., Travis McCoy from Gym Class Heroes, and Maja Ivarsson from The Sounds), I didn't realize that Cobra Starship was actually its own band, so I didn't pay much attention to them until recently. The namesake for this blog comes from Travis McCoy's inexplicable line at the end of the song. I'm not sure why he said "snakes on a blog," but he did, and this is a blog, so there you have it.

Also, as an added bonus, this isn't a music video, but I thought you might enjoy this hilarious clip of the FX edit of Samuel L. Jackson's infamous line from the aforementioned movie:







Since that last music video featured William Beckett, I figured that's a great transition to our next video by his band, The Academy Is..., "About A Girl"







Again, it's the song itself here that really shines, but the video does enhance it, particularly during the "to be loved" bridge, where William starts out making an earnest point and ends up in snide mockery of the concept he touted just a few seconds ago, aptly demonstrating the progression of the train of thought of one who is in such a position as the narrator of this song. The hefty doses of denial and irony are what make the lyrical content stand out, and musically I love the way the vocals and chords harmonize. I'm not a huge fan of The Academy Is..., but this is a great song.

Our final video features not one guy entranced by a female, but every guy in it, Weezer's latest offering, "(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To"







Weezer usually has cool videos, and this one is no exception - I like the Weezerville concept and the kid bodies with the heads of the band members on them. My favorite thing about the video, though, is the way that its message departs from that of the song, which is striking, because I usually don't like when music videos do that. The "bros before hoes" attitude exemplified at the very end of the video, though, actually somewhat aligns itself with the lyrics (at least in terms of how Rivers Cuomo interacts with the girl at the end), making it suitable for the song and bringing a wacky video to a very satisfying and unexpected conclusion.

I hope I've drained your time in a culturally enriching fashion today. If you don't like these videos... well, your taste sucks and I can't help you.

-Billy

In Remembrance...

For those of you who are more historically inclined, you will recognize that today is December 7th, which happens to mark the 58th anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor. I've always wondered why the date doesn't get more fanfare from the general public while 9/11 is revered. The truth of the matter is that 58 years ago, some of the bravest young men this country has ever turned out, in the truest act of bravery, gave their lives for the ultimate sacrifice. It seems to me, that gone are the days that America had a stomach for a fight, not that our men and women in uniform aren't up to the task, but rather the public and the media become so squeamish at the idea of bloodshed. December 7th should be a reminder to us that there is a responsibility and a cost that comes with our freedom.

Here is a recording of FDR's famous "Day of Infamy" speech after the attacks.




Also, for those of you with a love of classic war movies, I highly recommend the classic "Tora! Tora! Tora!". It may be a little more historical (read: boring) for those of you who prefer modern cinema, but it's much closer to the real events than the Hollywood-ized "Pearl Harbor". There used to be an online copy that floated around the free sites like Hulu, but that seems to be gone, so maybe you can find it on netflix, or (gasp) Blockbuster.


I might check back in later tonight with a fuller post, but for now, I wish you all a happy Monday, and never forget the freedoms that we have been given.


-Latin

Internet Special Ed: How to Post A Comment

Greetings readers, and thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to slog your way through all the muck that's on the internet in order to land here at our site. Since you're here, you've demonstrated that you have the presence of mind to decide on a website and the fine motor control necessary to operate a mouse and keyboard. I have to assume, however, that past that point, you're all brain-dead.

The reason I say this is that 25 different people navigated to this page yesterday (we keep track) and, despite being prompted numerous times by both Danny and myself, not a SINGLE BURGER FLIPPING PERSON participated in our game. I can only assume it's because somewhere along the line, you were neglected by internet culture, and no one ever taught you how to post a comment. Well friends, since I'm the kind of person that likes to reach out and help the less fortunate, I'm gonna forego (that's a big word for "skip") today's scheduled topic (the Top 10 list) and teach you guys how to do just that. I know that actually reading a blog entry is much too difficult for some of you, so I'm going to use pictures as much as possible to assist your understanding.


Step 1: Locating the Comment Link

Look for the title of the post (for example, today's title is "Internet Special Ed: How to Post A Comment"). Underneath that will be a description of the day of the week, date, and time that it was posted, along with the name of the person who posted the blog and any tags included in the post (if you don't know what a "tag" is, don't worry... it's a fairly complex element of a blog, especially for people at your stage of learning, so we won't get into that here). Directly to the right of that will be a hyperlink (one of those things that, if you click on it, takes you somewhere else) that says how many comments there currently are on the post. If you're still confused, look for the big red arrow pointing to the circle in the picture below.





In case that zoomed in version of the screen doesn't provide an accurate enough frame of reference, I've located the comment link for you on the Big Page:






Step 2: Opening the Comment Box

Place your mouse over the words that denote how many comments already exist on the page (your mouse arrow should turn into a little hand with a pointing finger), and press down on the mouse button. This is called "clicking." It will take you to the page where you can type out your comment in a little white box that looks like this:




Step 3: Selecting a Username

A "username" is a fancy term for a nickname that other people can call you on the internet. Now that you've opened the comment box, you want to pick the username to use on this comment. If you have a Google ID, you can use that (mine is Billy the Kid, for example, and I use that name to post blogs). However, if you do not have one (and I will assume for the purposes of this tutorial that you do not), you can choose to post anonymously, or to post without putting a name down at all. In order to do so, click the little downward arrow to the right of where it says "comment as." This will bring down a drop-down menu where you can select your type of username.




Click "Anonymous," which is highlighted in blue in the above picture.




It's going to get a little more difficult after this, so let's take a break for a minute. Go into the kitchen and grab a juice box and some animal crackers, and take a short nap if you're feeling worn out. You're going to need to be in top form for the next step.




Step 4: Writing Your Comment

Click inside the white box. If you know how to type properly, arrange your fingers on the keyboard in the appropriate fashion. If not, just try to locate the right letters as you go along and press the keys down with your index finger (the one you use to pick your nose). This is where the hard part comes in. Now you have to think of something to type into the box. When you get an idea, start typing. Once you're done, the result should look something like this:

Note: Using an exclamation point (!) requires use of the Shift key.
This is recommended only for advanced users.

It is appropriate to leave a name, even if you post anonymously. To do so, just place a dash in front of your name as pictured above.


Step 5: Posting Your Comment

Your hard work is finally about to pay off! The only thing left to do is click the button that says Post Comment. Once you do so, your comment will appear on the page underneath the post, directly above the comment box. Congratulations! You're published on the internet!





Hopefully this tutorial has been helpful to all of you kids. I'd challenge you to leave a comment right now, but I know that after the strain of all that learning, you probably don't have the energy, so I'll just take my leave until Monday. Enjoy the weekend.

-Billy